Ships – Jodie Peeler https://jodiepeeler.com Nobody you've heard of. Sat, 07 Dec 2024 01:45:07 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 54975789 Time Capsule: Life, Nov. 24, 1958 https://jodiepeeler.com/2024/12/06/time-capsule-life-nov-24-1958/ https://jodiepeeler.com/2024/12/06/time-capsule-life-nov-24-1958/#respond Fri, 06 Dec 2024 22:44:23 +0000 https://jodiepeeler.com/?p=462 Too many things on my mind are failing to cohere into a decent post (or series thereof), so why don’t we dive back into the stacks, eh?

Here’s the November 24, 1958 Life magazine. I really should have done this one last week, I know, but better late than never. This is a favorite: on the cover is the awesome Kim Novak with a cat, billboarding a story about Bell, Book and Candle. I love Kim Novak, I’m a cat mom, and Bell, Book and Candle is among my favorite movies (and sometimes the older of our cats, who tends to stay close to me like a familiar, gets called Pyewacket – but, as any cat parent knows, any cat accumulates about 50 names in addition to their official name). What’s not to love?

Well, okay…as we’ll see, there’s not much to the story about Bell, Book and Candle. But we can still have some fun with this issue. Let’s commence:

It’s 1958, so we’re going to see recurring themes. Remember, in this era America was under a constant cloud of cigarette smoke and floating on a sea of booze. Here you see the oft-forgotten Kool penguin mascot – in the first panel, the poor little one is in peril. If you can actually feel pity for a cigarette mascot, I do here.

Meanwhile, King Sano cigarettes – with the fancy new filter, because filters were the big new thing – has as its mascot former diplomat John S. Young. “Time and again, in today’s tense situations, I see important people under pressure lighting up this new ‘soft smoke’ cigarette,” the ad quotes Young as saying. Hey, we’re dealing with the H-Bomb and guided missiles, the new space race, the Middle East, Berlin, the Congo, Quemoy and Matsu, and this smoldering situation in Vietnam…but hey, if it means boom times for the coffin-nail business, it’s all for the good, right?

It’s after hours at the agency and the boys at Sterling Cooper are letting their crew cuts down! And not only did they get Hughes Rudd to stop by and tickle the ivories, but their piano has a gigantic hand emerging from it. I’m especially amused by the line “Clear Heads Agree Calvert Is Better,” when nobody’s head is going to be clear after a while.

(And any booze under the “Calvert” brand reminds me of what racer Buddy Shuman reportedly told a woman who wondered how he got the courage to drive a car so fast on track: “I take ‘er through the straights and Lord Calvert takes ‘er through the turns.”)

Get plenty of Planters Cocktail Peanuts for the holidays. That can remained more or less the same into the 1980s. I remember this because we always had a can in the snack cupboard. My dad ate them a lot, and they were the definition of store-bought peanuts when I was a kid. The first time I tried dry-roasted peanuts, on a visit to my grandfather’s summer home, I thought they were exotic.

The ability of flooring to hold up to high heels was an important selling point in the ’50s and ’60s. There’s one in particular I remember where it implied a woman was jumping up and down on the flooring, on the points of her heels. Which you can completely see happening. (And you wouldn’t at all see someone like that being taken away for their own safety.)

Reader’s Digest Condensed Books were such a staple for so long. My grandfather’s summer home was lined with them. He never read them, I don’t think, but he’d just pay for them when Reader’s Digest would send them for approval. Now, of course, you can’t give them away.

The dream/fantasy scenes in the Maidenform ads never fail to crack me up (and bring to mind the MAD Magazine version that mashed up a Maidenform ad with Nude Descending A Staircase). And, of course, once you’re back from your space-age makeover, get back to work in the kitchen with all your spiffy General Electric appliances. The man of the house is gonna need something to settle all that Calvert Reserve from the office party.

“I dreamed I got out of a Chrysler automobile in my Maidenform bra! The only hooter holster with The Forward Look!”

And a neat, space-age decanter for Old Forester, just in time for the holiday season. It reminds me of a Palmolive bottle for some reason. And once it’s drained (which, if your husband’s a Sterling Cooper employee, won’t take long) it would likely make a dandy vase for the happiest flowers in town. hic

Okay, there’s a ton of automobile ads in this issue. Which is appropriate, since the cars of that era are best measured in gross tonnage anyway. Let’s handle most (if not all) of them now:

Holy crap, were the Lincolns up to 1960 these massive ingots of automobile. I’ve been aboard aircraft carriers before and these give me the same impression of overwhelming size. And yet I am captivated by them. Of course, the real challenge if you own one of these monsters now is finding parts for it. (Contrast this with what the Lincoln Continental became for the first half of the 1960s: one of the most beautiful automobiles ever.)

If the USS Lincoln is beyond your means (or perhaps too spendy), there’s always Mercury. It’s interesting when you compare how cars looked in 1950, still trying to get accustomed to a postwar world, then to sort of a happy medium in the mid ’50s…only to become rolling Las Vegas by 1959.

By comparison, the 1959 Ford, which would seem like wild styling any other year, is positively sedate by comparison. Then again, you could always buy this heartbreaking work of automotive genius:

The “Olds sucking a lemon” look is toned down for 1959, but the E-Car is already suffering headwinds and has only a model year left after this one. Somebody in our hometown had a ’59 Edsel that, when he was done with it (or when it was done with him), he just parked it in his back yard. By the time I was of age, the weeds had started to grow up around it and the paint had oxidized and all that. One day when I was 9 or 10, I got to sit in it for a minute when nobody was home. I wanted so much to buy that car and fix it up. Obviously, it didn’t happen. (There were reportedly many offers made to him for it and he refused to sell. Eventually it was hauled away, and I have no idea where it ended up. I probably wouldn’t want to know, anyhow. But I’ve had a soft spot for the 1959 Edsel ever since.)

If all that’s going on at the House of Henry, then what’s the General up to?

Wide-Track Pontiac for 1959! The choice of my father’s father, who loved them big ol’ Pontiacs. Art Fitzpatrick and Van Kaufman became well-known for their Pontiac ads, which artistically enhanced the “wide track” effect and made Pontiacs seem four lanes wide.

Meanwhile, over at Chevrolet:

The famous “bat wing” Chevy for 1959. Cadillac’s fins went upward to their highest for 1959, but Chevrolet extended them outward. There’s a story – and I’m not sure how true it is – that the 1959 Chevy’s radical departure from the boxy 1958 design was because the Chevy designers found out about Chrysler’s “Forward Look” and this was their response. The outcome was a car whose looks you either love or hate. My maternal grandmother’s response was the latter. When my grandfather brought home the family’s new 1959 Biscayne sedan, she said, in a quote that has lived through the generations: “Hewie, that’s a biscuit and you’re gonna eat every bite of it!”

Oh, and on the adjoining page is a story about people learning how to hunt, sometimes with tragicomic results. It includes this picture:

Yep, some farmer had to paint COW on the side of a cow. Note that it’s in Pompano, Florida. I used to live a couple miles from there. There weren’t any cows there, let alone room for them. There’s probably rows and rows of houses there now.

Theme song for the article:

But the real action at GM is taking place in the GMC Truck Division, with Operation High Gear in full swing:

I’m having fun imagining a race like this at the then-new Daytona International Speedway. Especially with the high banks and everything. Wheeee!

There’s a GMC truck for every need! Pickups! Delivery vans! But this is the one I really like:

It looks like somebody who’s resigned themselves to having to wear braces, but they’re kind of philosophical about it. “Oh, well, it could be a lot worse,” sighs the new D860. Automotive designs of the ’50s were so expressive.

Meanwhile, here’s another word from the folks at Dodge:

It (and an ad that repeats claims that Listerine would eventually have to retract) is adjacent to part of a story about Brigitte Bardot’s sister, who has a beauty all her own:

And that is adjacent to a story about fashionable flooring from Johns-Manville! Asbestos is the wave of the future!

Back to what the folks at Chrysler are up to, though. The infestation of beetles from West Germany has disturbed the automakers enough to prompt countermeasures:

What’s not mentioned is that Chrysler had wanted to enter the European market, and did so by buying part of Ford’s share in Simca (which Henry Ford II, when he wasn’t fictionally sitting awkwardly in a race car, was said to have regretted). That, and the name instantly makes me think of Latka’s girlfriend on Taxi. I can’t see it without imagining Andy Kaufman pronouncing it.

Studebaker (whose motto is starting to become a more insistent “what have we got to lose? We’ve gotta try something!”) is thinking along similar lines, and brings us the cute little Lark:

The Lark (which was a reworking of some existing designs) sold well the first couple years. Unfortunately, when Ford (with the Falcon) and GM (with the Chevrolet Corvair and Pontiac Tempest) got in on the act, sales dropped. Soon after, so did Studebaker.

But if you really want to go places:

The Boeing 707 is here! And American Airlines invites you to fly on the big, fast new Jet Flagship! (This page has some history on this exact airframe, and you can see another image from the same photo shoot that yielded the picture in this ad. You’ll see that some retouching was involved. You’ll also find out about its unhappy ending.)

Boeing’s in on the act:

Given her expression, I can’t help wondering if he’s said something highly inappropriate. I also can’t help wondering if that’s his wife, or, ah, “his wife.” It’s the late ’50s, so…the odds are decent, on both counts. (That’s not a typo at the bottom, either: there was a Boeing 720, a slightly downsized 707 variant meant for airlines that wanted to serve shorter routes. It was a stopgap before something like the beloved workhorse 727 was ready.)

But this week Life also brings us the other side of aviation:

The fiery aftermath of an accident at New York’s Idlewild Airport (now John F. Kennedy International). A Super Constellation on a training flight became uncontrollable when a propeller malfunctioned during takeoff. The plane smashed into the empty Trans-Canada Viscount seen here, only about 10 minutes before passengers would have boarded. Believe it or not, nobody was killed. (Read more about it here.)

What else is in the news? The famous Boston political boss James Michael Curley died, and Life covered his sending-off. It was a big deal in Boston.

King Hussein of Jordan, 23 at the time, eluded an attempt by Syria to take him out. Given that my memories of King Hussein are of an older statesman trying to broker peace, it’s always jarring to see him as a young man.

The Hope Diamond was sent to the Smithsonian Institution…by registered mail, insured for $1 million (which came to fees of $145.29 for postage, registered mail service and insurance). Harry Winston, it was said, felt sending it by the post office would avoid the ballyhoo of armed guards, couriers and so forth.

There’s supposed to be a curse associated with the Hope Diamond. When I was at the museum a quarter-century ago, there was a long line waiting to look at it. I knew of the curse and, even if I’m not really superstitious, didn’t feel like waiting in line to tempt fate.

Holy cow, now there is a news flash! I really must stop wearing my monocle while reading these things.

Brief story about a leopard cub taken in by a family in Uganda. It was all fun and games and cuteness and sweetness until the leopard’s instincts started to come in, and the little cub wasn’t so cute any longer, so…off it went to a zoo. (Reminder: don’t mess with nature.)

The leopard’s story is in between a Botany 500 ad (yes! It did exist outside the game show universe!) and a Schick electric shaver ad. Where Remington famously shaved the fuzz off a peach in its commercials, Schick instead uses analogies to cactus quills and toy balloons, promising it can handle any kind of skin.

The Polaroid Land Camera! A miracle it was for the day: pictures in only 60 seconds. Now it seems so quaint.

Next to it is a piece about Amedeo Modigliani, who work was encountering a renaissance. There’s several of his works, but many of them are nudes, and although I don’t have an issue with that, we do try to be a family blog.

T. S. Eliot, now 70, has a new wife and a new play, The Elder Statesman. (Maybe he’s also got the Hotpoint 6-Cycle Washer, too!) They threw an afterparty, and given that I think of Eliot as writing rather heavy work, it’s odd to see him so happy:

In between material about The Elder Statesman, you can read about the exciting underwear that may get you a Love Letter. Or you can order the World Book Encyclopedia in time for Christmas. I’ll always insist one of the wisest things my parents ever did was buy a World Book set when my brother and I were really young. I grew up with World Book, seemed to always have a volume pulled down off the shelf, and it made me want to go out and learn more and see the world. So much that I have, so much that I have done with my life, I owe to that. I am grateful.

And you can’t have T.S. Eliot without having a cat around, as we see here. Around him, you can shop for a Sheaffer pen set (which is interesting, given that I’m a Parker 51/61 fan) and delicious Cracker Barrel cheese from Kraft. (That’s much better if you say it in the mellifluous voice of Ed Herlihy.)

It’s Beefaroni night! “Fixed just as Italian children might be eating it near Rome.” Yeah, I’m certain. Because you know that 11-year-olds are daydreaming about being on the Via Veneto.

Or you can always make them Plantation Ham with martinis made with Seagram’s Golden Gin. Notice how the ham is a pretext to make martinis. Heck, the entire decade seems like a pretext to make martinis.

An Alpha-Bits ad, which brings to mind two favorite gags:

  1. “Brian! There’s a message in my Alpha-Bits! ‘Oooooooooo!'”
    “Peter, those are Cheerios.”
  2. “Raymond…I could have eaten a box of Alpha-Bits and CRAPPED a better interview!”

Next door is the start of an article about Eileen Farrell, who had a long and versatile career and just seems like she was a really neat person.

The article about Bell, Book and Candle is…well, after the cover, it’s a letdown, though we do get some neat pictures. The one at the top right, with Gillian and Pyewacket, is a keeper. (“Witch and helper” might describe a picture of me and Smokey, who is often my Pyewacket.)

Another reason I love Bell, Book and Candle: Ernie Kovacs.

“S.O.S. Pads! See us at the Kitchen Debate next year!”

The Army’s big mirror was a big solar furnace done as an experiment, made of 356 mirrored sheets. That’s prospectively at least 2,492 years of bad luck if they break. eek.

And it’s helpful the Vitalis guy is also an underwater salvage expert, because, as it happens:

Life looks into the realm of people trying to cash in on underwater salvage. One of them has an idea to raise the wreck of the liner Andrea Doria, which had gone down a couple years before: just seal the portholes and pump air into the hull. He’s even got a proof-of-concept model, which he demonstrates for Life‘s inquiring eye:

Not only do I love the look on his face, but look at the model playing the part of Andrea Doria: it’s the flat-bottomed Revell model of s/s United States. (Note: if an “ingenious plan” has been rejected by a big salvage firm, there’s likely to be a reason. Maybe he didn’t use Vitalis?)

Now that we’ve handled much of the news, let’s have a drink! I miss the way advertisements used to have original art in them, but something like this ad is just so darn evocative:

Meanwhile, Carling’s Black Label gives the strong impression that the people who produce television programs are getting gassed while they’re doing it:

Maybe you’d prefer an entire stadium full of orange juice?

Or if you can’t come out and say “Honey, I need you to buy me a sewing machine” (because, after all, it’s 1958 and your full-time job is to stay home and tend house), here’s ways you can hint for it, like you’re a 9-year-old who leaves a Red Ryder BB gun ad inside your parents’ magazines:

Let’s have more booze! Here, it’s as if Roger Sterling was channeling Old Scratch at the end of The Devil and Daniel Webster.

Ancient Age always cracks me up, for the only alcohol in our house growing up was a small bottle of it kept at the very back of a cabinet, on a high shelf. It had been a gift from my dad’s boss, who usually gave everyone at the sawmill a bottle of booze for Christmas. Dad, being a strict teetotaler, almost always gave his to someone else. This one, he had kept. It was there for the sole purpose of making the cough medicine our old family doctor taught my parents to make (part bourbon, part honey). Many was the night my brother or I, having contracted some kind of horrible respiratory illness as we tended to in our young days, would be sleepless and sore, our throats raw from terrible persistent coughs. One treatment from the bottle of booze medicine would soothe our throats and get us to sleep.

Something delicious:

The thing I love most is how they really dolled Elsie up. Given that I grew up in the country and had many occasions to be around actual cows, it’s a hoot.

This looks like a nightmare in the ad, but, oh, would I be all over it like that little kid in the corner:

Alas, at my age, I now know I’d be in the same predicament that our Buster Keaton-esque mail carrier would be in here. But if I could meet Speedy, that would be nifty. (It’s a shame we lost Speedy when he fell off that fishing pier so many years ago.)

And you know that Patti Page is a stickler for perfect spark plugs! (She wrenches her own Oldsmobile, ya know. While wearing the gown. That’s why the car’s in the studio.)

Okay, it’s not the Carousel, but what can be?

“Can you bring me my Chap Stick? My lips hurt REAL BAD!”

“Children, in a time before Ikea, we had these things called furniture manufacturers! And they built furniture that was meant to be passed from generation to generation! But, then….”

And, in the spirit of the approaching holidays, we close with an appeal for you to give booze…

…and cigarettes. Because, after all, it’s 1958.

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A day with the Big Ship https://jodiepeeler.com/2024/11/21/a-day-with-the-big-ship/ https://jodiepeeler.com/2024/11/21/a-day-with-the-big-ship/#respond Thu, 21 Nov 2024 11:43:22 +0000 https://jodiepeeler.com/?p=279 I didn’t have “weekend trip to Philadelphia” on my bingo card back in July. But life happened, as it will.

The ocean liner United States has been a long-standing fascination for me. It started innocently enough, during my senior year in high school. I had befriended the head librarian as soon as I started attending the school and became a library assistant during my senior year. (It tells you everything about me that I had closer relationships with some of my teachers and with the librarians than I had with most of my classmates.) During my senior year, she let me and a friend eat lunch in a work room in back of the library.

Along the back wall of this room were bound volumes of most of the original run of Life magazine, and several years of Time from the late 1940s and early 1950s. More often than not I’d spend part of my lunch hour with some of those volumes pulled down, and I’d happily leaf through these little time capsules, losing myself in another era: not only the stories of what was in the news then, but the photography and the ads. Spend enough time immersed in those ads and you find yourself longing for products that haven’t been offered in forever.

One day I was looking through the June 1952 issues of Time, and one cover stuck out: a ship’s captain, brow furrowed with responsibility, watchful gaze fixed on something in the distance; behind him was a porthole with frolicking vacationers visible, as bon voyage streamers fluttered by, a mildly surreal mash-up of the sort Time covers of the day specialized in. “Commodore Manning of the ‘United States,'” the caption read.

As I looked inside to see what the story was, I couldn’t feel the hook being set. I started reading about this amazing ship and all the modern features, including some the Navy didn’t want to disclose (and which, I’d learn in time, had to do with more than just claims of national security). Then throughout other issues, the advertisements, breathless with anticipation, from United States Lines about the ship’s entry into service. Then to the coverage of the ship in Life.

Inevitably I started wondering: what happened to this ship? It’s what I tend to do when I find out about marvels from the past; some itch makes me wonder what became of them. Nowadays, you could just pull out your smartphone and have the ship’s entire story at your fingertips. But in 1991, a “smartphone” would have meant Don Adams talking into his shoe.

Somehow I found out the ship was still around. There had been plans to convert the ship into a cruise liner, but nothing had happened. The ship was languishing away in Virginia and hadn’t been to sea since 1969. I got interested in writing about the ship and planned to go to Virginia to do some research at the Mariners’ Museum, and hoped to get some photos of the ship while I was there. But since I was the baby of the family, my parents said no. Eventually we worked something out (oh, was that a story) and it became a hastily-arranged family vacation that turned out to be pretty nice, probably the best vacation we took together. We took a harbor cruise and I saw the big ship with my own eyes. I’d been aboard big ships before, having been to many a ship museum, but there was something about seeing this ship up close, in person. The ship was still powerful, looked fast and majestic just sitting there, but so sad: faded, rusted, abused, neglected.

I got involved in the nascent efforts to save the ship from being scrapped, which really picked up when a federal court put the ship up for auction. There were all manner of strings being pulled, but to no avail, and in April 1992 we prepared for the worst to happen at auction. Instead, a Turkish-based group bought the Big U. Two months later the ship went to Turkey, and from there to Sevastopol for drydocking and to have the asbestos-laden interiors stripped out.

Well, the plans went nowhere, and the owners had begun selling parts of the ship for scrap (which is why, among other things, the lifeboats and davits were gone). Another eleventh-hour rescue and the ship ended up in Philadelphia in 1996. The following year, a friend and I went up over Memorial Day weekend to see the ship. When her dad retired from the Air Force in 1962, they got to travel back home from England aboard the ship. She still remembers watching Birdman of Alcatraz in the ship’s theater.

Years passed and various plans came and went, and the ship dodged various brushes with doom. At one point it seemed tantalizingly like the ship would get converted to go back to sea again, but that didn’t work out. At another point, plans for the ship’s refurbishment and preservation seemed so close. But that, alas, was not to be. And then, the owner of the pier where the Big U was moored got tired of this big ship being there, and more legal wrangling ensued. Alas, we know how it ended; with sale to a Florida county that will scuttle the ship as the world’s largest artificial reef.

Back in July, we didn’t know how this was going to turn out, although since January, when the word about the pier situation really started getting dire, I had been bracing for the final act happening sometime this year, and I had a feeling the ship was running out of lives. The e-mails from the ship’s preservation organization were sounding more concerned than usual.

There had been occasional opportunities for guided tours aboard the ship, but they often involved more money than I had available, or they required some kind of “in,” such as being a former passenger. But in mid-year, the Conservancy opened things up: for a minimum donation, you could go aboard. I thought the odds of me getting a slot were long, but I figured I’d regret if I didn’t try, and so I sent an inquiry. To my surprise, I got the first date I requested. All I had to do was make the donation, which happened moments later. Then came all the logistics: oh, crap, I gotta plan a route, book hotel rooms, get a timeline together, etc., etc. Which, all of that came together, but since I do tend to fret, it got interesting.

The morning of July 19, I loaded up the car and set out. On any trip this size, I’ll usually spend about the first 20 minutes wondering why am I doing this crazy thing? and then, at a certain point, something will shift and I’ll ease into travel mode. Certainly by the time I was on I-77, I was ready to go. My trip followed much the same route my friend and I had taken in 1997: I-77 to I-81, and then on to the Pennsylvania Turnpike to Philadelphia. It was hours and hours and hours of travel, with TCM’s splendid podcasts about Pam Grier and John Ford keeping me company much of the way. Since I had started out early, though, I was able to make it across the Pennsylvania line and spend the night in Chambersburg. The next morning, I was up early, got on the Turnpike and it was on to Philadelphia. Mission-driven person I am, I was there at 9:15 for the 10 a.m. report time, and killed a little time at a Lowe’s near the rendezvous point. Across the busy four-lane street from us, there was the Big Ship. It had been so long. I was glad to see my old friend again, even if my heart broke a little more.

There was a group of about 20 that morning, from various places; some of us were experienced with old ships, while some were just curious about this big old ship they kept seeing from the Walt Whitman Bridge. One was an artist who had become fascinated with the ship and was making a repeat visit to take pictures for her projects. Eventually all were accounted for, and we made a convoy over to the pier, and parked where we could. I was finally up close with the ship, and I could scarcely believe it. There’s my car, all of a sudden, parked alongside s/s United States.

We got out of our vehicles and stood pierside, then walked around for photo opportunities. I was overawed. This is so big, I kept thinking. But that cut two ways: yes, the ship was a marvel, but only up close could I really appreciate how much damage the years had inflicted: the mangled railings, the busted portholes, the streaks and pocks of rust. In a heartbeat, my awe turned to sadness: This is so big. The vastness of the job was suddenly so apparent, like a giant hole had consumed me and all I had to dig out with was a toy shovel and pail. I had the feeling you’d need probably a billion dollars to truly do this project right. It was a billion dollars I didn’t have.

Every so often, the inevitable becomes heartbreakingly clear and you have to brace for it. It’s a feeling I knew in early 2019 when the veterinarian at the emergency clinic told me that our senior cat’s heart was giving out and that I was about to lose my bestest buddy of 15 years, and I suddenly had to make one of the most heartbreaking decisions I’ve ever made. It’s a feeling I knew not two weeks into this year when I got the phone call that my mother, who had been in the hospital but seemed okay when I visited two days before, was in the ICU and was crashing quickly. It’s the feeling that you’re about to have to let go of something you have loved so dearly for so long, that last-minute happy endings don’t exist outside Hollywood, and even the first glimmers that maybe it’s all for the best, that the unforeseen costs of answered prayers could end up worse than just doing the right thing and, as a friend of mine often says, letting go and letting God. It’s the coldness of reality grabbing you by the collar.

Now, granted, this is different because a 990-foot ship will never love you back. But, still, when you’ve invested 33 years into caring so deeply about something…yeah, this hurt.

In time our tour guide led us down the pier to a metal gangway. After all these years, it was about to happen. Up and over, and I’m aboard. “We meet at last,” I tell the ship, giving a gentle pat as I step aboard, into a crew area called Times Square. A couple of men who help take care of the ship greet us. There’s some paperwork we have to sign (of course), and we’re all given flashlights since there’s a lot of areas without lights ahead, and after a briefing we set off.

(Side note: Some of what I’m about to cover was also covered by Steven Ujifusa, author of A Man And His Ship, in this post a few days ago. Check it out, as Steven got coverage of a few areas I mention here but didn’t get pictures of.)

First we have to climb a spiral stair up, and then we emerge into…vast emptiness. Where passenger cabins once were, now there are outlines of where walls used to be. Light streams in from the cabin ports. The stubs from where the toilet and bath plumbing used to be stick up from the decks. The ship’s decor and many other artifacts were auctioned off in 1984 and are now scattered among hundreds of museums and private collections, and good luck ever getting all that stuff back; much of what was left, notably the marinite asbestos panels that made up walls and other interior divisions, was gutted in 1994 during the yard period in Sevastopol. For the most part, we’re touring an empty hull, communing with ghosts. Here and there, there are signs of what once was – the different patterns on the decks that corresponded with which class you were in (first, cabin or tourist). It’s like finding little traces of a lost civilization. It made your heart hurt. At one point, in a now-denuded lounge, I embraced one of the countless structural stanchions that shoot up through the public spaces like trees. Very quietly, I whispered: “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” If it’s true that ships have souls, I hope that ship heard me.

There’s something else I haven’t mentioned. If you’ve been aboard enough ships, you know they have a distinct smell. Just about every ship I’ve been aboard has had some variant of that smell, even active Navy ships that are well-maintained. It’s a mix of grease, fuel oil, sweat, stale air and who knows what else. It’s hard to describe, but the closest thing I’ve found is the smell of old color-printed magazines that have sat in storage for a long time; a pungent, slightly mildew-y, slightly ashy smell that gets your attention. Now imagine that on a ship that hasn’t been climate-controlled in decades, neglected and open to the elements. Even through a KF94 mask I could pick up that smell. It soaked into my hair and my clothes, and even days later I could detect the smell in that mask. It became poignant.

Some of the public areas were evocative. At one point we went into a little room that looked out over what had been the first class dining room, where everybody who was anybody would have dined back in the day, wearing their absolute best, the truly important folks getting invited to sit at the table with the Commodore (or with the captain when the Commodore wasn’t at sea). The tables were long gone; only the sockets remained from where the table legs were secured to the deck. The little compartment we were in, one deck up, was a loft where the musicians had once played. And now we looked out over an empty dining room; the best we could do was reconstruct the scene in our minds.

Elsewhere on the tour, we visited what had been the first class lounge. You could still make out where the musician’s platform had been, and the circular dance floor, though worse for wear, was still evident. I was likely to never get another chance, so when no one was looking, I did a quick Natalie Merchant twirl on the dance floor and rejoined the group.

Eventually we emerged on deck. Once upon a time we’d have been walking on green-colored weather decks covered in Neotex. But over the years the Neotex gave up, crumbled away. Some of it rests as little gray-green flecks of gravel collected in nooks and crannies, while some larger pieces hold on. The temptation was strong to pick up a little piece of it and slip it into my pocket as a souvenir. But…my conscience told me it wouldn’t have been right. The only thing I felt was right to take was photographs, and so I did.

We explored other areas: where the lifeboats and davits once were, now it’s just a long and open run of clear deck, with beaten-up railings along the edges. The pilothouse, where the ship was guided on record-breaking voyages and through stormy seas, is now empty. Atop the pilothouse, you could look up close at the giant forward funnel, whose last sheets of weather-beaten paint from the final yard period 56 years ago are hanging on for dear life. Brave souls could try to climb up the foremast, but my dread of heights kept me a live coward instead of an vertigo-plagued hero.

We explored aft, too: overlooking one of the giant propellers now resting on deck; a good view of the aft railing that was bent in Sevastopol; the shoots of green that have grown in nooks and crannies; the rust that has eaten away at unprotected metal. Then the vacant promenade deck, once all full of life, but now empty and ghostly, empty light fixtures now hanging down.

Back inside and back down to Times Square we went. The tour had already gone longer than expected, but there was more to see. As we waited for the next leg of the tour, there was a cooler with iced-down bottles of water and Gatorade, and we were welcome to help ourselves. I hadn’t had anything in hours, and walking around this unventilated ship on a humid summer day had worn me low. It took me no time at all to drain a bottle of Gatorade.

Then we were off to visit one of the engine rooms; once a forbidden area, now we were merrily climbing through it, exploring things, finding wonders hidden in the dark mustiness. Along the way, I’d look up and see paint hanging down in giant sheets from the overhead, or see where cables and wiring had been chopped out. I got to thinking about the hundreds of miles of wiring and cabling that would have to be replaced, the countless passages and corridors and nooks and crannies that would have to be scraped and repainted…well, there went my heart hitting the deck once more.

The last stop on the tour was the swimming pool. When the ship was new, this kind of became famous, with the stylized flags spelling out “Come on in – the water’s fine” on the bulkhead at the rear of the pool. Well, the pool basin was still there, but the flags and a whole lot else were long gone. Some in the group climbed down into the basin, while I was content to soak in the ambience from above. I’ve never learned how to swim, anyway, and with my luck I’d have found a way to go under in a dry pool.

And with that, the tour was over. We threaded our way back up to Times Square and our tour guide gave each of us a folder with some information and a sticker, our souvenir of the visit. I waited behind to let others go ashore first, and to thank the gentlemen who had helped us while we were aboard. But then I had a moment of panic: I couldn’t find my glasses. I looked everywhere in Times Square, unable to remember where they might be. At last I thought to check the top of my head; sure enough, I was still wearing them. Yeah, it was a brain failure, but in its way, it gave me a private moment with the ship. On the way out, I gave a bulkhead a gentle, loving pat, told the Big U to keep her courage, and reluctantly joined everyone else on the pier.

There was time for a few more pictures, and we lingered and talked for a little while, and then the convoy headed out. The two men who had hitched a ride over with me met back up with me, and I delivered them to their vehicle, wished them well on their ride back to Virginia. And then I gave our ship one last, loving look as I drove away. I looked up at Uncle Walt’s bridge, with “Song of Himself” gamboling through my head, then pointed my car the other direction, toward I-95 and the hotel room that awaited me in North Carolina.

That night, as I prepared for bed, the smell of that ship was still with me: in my clothes, in my hair. As, too, were the tangled emotions: wishing I could pick the Big U up, take that ship home with me; trying to cope with the likelihood that the ship could well be torn apart in a ditch in Brownsville, or that the ship that Mr. Gibbs designed to never sink would meet that very fate. But even with all that, I could know that, even if the worst did happen, at least I had this day.

Given what I know now, I’m glad I had it.

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